One Step I’m Taking To Find Peace During the Back-To-School COVID19 Chaos.

A couple of days ago I crashed. I laid down to take an afternoon nap around 1:00 p.m. and rolled over to check the time at 4:45 p.m. THAT was a long nap. Upon waking, I threw myself together quickly, picked up my youngest daughter and her friend from the local pottery store, dropped them back at home and then met up with a couple of my friends for dinner. From there, I attended our socially distanced book club and was back in bed by 10:00 p.m. that evening. The next morning, I woke at 9:10 a.m. A six hour difference from my usual 3:00 a.m. wake up call. I was obviously tired.

After breakfast yesterday morning, it hit me just how much of a toll Covid19 and the uncertainties of life that surround it are affecting me. With Nashville’s numbers on the rise, the city back in phase 2, and our county already in the medium to high spread zone, stress is elevated. Facebook groups discussing back-to-school options are all abuzz with alternatives galore. Parents are trying to figure out what is best for them, their families, and their children.

Questions abound.

Should we send them back to school, recognizing the numbers are significantly higher now than they were in March when the world shut down initially? Should we homeschool? Should we choose the online option for the first semester? Are the numbers even correct? And by the way, when will we know if our school is going to start on-campus or remotely? Has the decision already been made for us and we just aren’t privy to this knowledge? Then there is the mask mandate and the many opinions around sending kids to school in these face coverings. Articles, polls, and opinions aplenty are being shared. And at the end of it all, I’m flat exhausted trying to keep up!

I mean, it’s just too much. What is the right answer? Is there a right answer? Truly, we might as well toss a coin to make this decision. And yet, it’s weighing on me. My kids want to go back to school. And, if I’m honest, I want them to go back. They miss their friends and teachers and want social interaction and I can’t blame them. But is it the right decision? At the end of the day, I don’t know. What is a mom to do? While I can’t answer that question, I will tell you what this mom is doing.

Over the last couple of weeks, God has been talking to me. Not in an audible voice but in the still small way that he speaks. It began early one morning a couple of weeks ago when I woke hearing these simple phrases: Don’t worry about anything. Pray about everything. And I will make your paths straight. I knew these were Bible verses so I looked them each up. For reference they come from Philippians 4:6-7 and Proverbs 3:6.

Okay, Lord, I’m listening.

I recognized, as I mulled over these three phrases, that I am quick to pray about a lot of things, namely my hopes, wants and dreams—and since Covid—people who are suffering. I have learned during this time there is extreme power in prayer and believe wholeheartedly he hears my prayers. But when it came to school and all the chaos surrounding it, prayer had not yet hit my radar. So I changed this and began to pray.

Still I struggled.

Then a couple of mornings ago, flipping through my Bible, I came across Isaiah 26:3 which states that God will keep those whose minds are steadfast on him in perfect peace. Reading this, I cried, because I still didn’t have this peace, but I knew he was trying to tell me something. I pondered what it looked like to keep my mind on him. I mean, I was praying and trying with everything in me to trust him, but still peace was not something I was experiencing. Anxiety and confusion? Yes! But not peace. Falling asleep that night I asked again, what does it look like to keep my mind on you?

Then early this morning (2:15 a.m. y’all!) I woke. I laid there until about 3:20, got up, and headed down to start the coffee. As I sat down to read, the story of Peter walking on the water (from Matthew 14) came to mind. So I looked it up. Guess who cried again? Yep! Me. Because there on the page before me—in black and white—he made clear to me that regardless of my struggle to remain calm in this storm he hadn’t left me. It doesn’t get much clearer when the verse before me asks me to not fear and to take courage and ends saying “I am here!”

As I continued reading Peter’s story, I realized how much I am like Peter right now. I desperately want to walk on the water in this storm. But while walking, my gaze shifts and the waves tumble over me. As I thought through this, I wondered what are the waves that I am looking at and what can I do to direct my gaze back toward him? The answer came pretty quickly. Leave and unfollow those Facebook groups. It is just noise. So I did. And you know what? That one, obedient step brought me peace.

I still don’t have my answers for tomorrow or school. But for today I am leaving that in his capable hands and trusting that as the days unfold before me he will indeed make my path straight so long as I continue to seek him, stay present and course correct along the way.

What about you? What waves are consuming you right now and what obedient steps can you take to consciously shift your focus back to the One who wants to give you peace in the midst of these turbulent times? I can’t help but think about Matthew 11:28 which says, “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.” May you know the step to take, take it, an experience peace as a result.